Jeff Dean is one of about 2,000 Boeing Employees Good Neighbor Fund boosters.


Helping those

in crisis



Crisis Line an Avenue of Support

By Mark Ziegler
Boeing News

Five years ago, when Jeff Dean's 14-year-old son was arrested for assaulting another kid with a bicycle chain,
it wasn't the first sign of trouble.

There had been the two shoplifting incidents. The prolonged periods of silence. The unwillingness to participate in family activities. And the therapy with three counselors that hadn't seemed to help.

At that moment, Dean, a metrology engineer at Boeing Aerospace & Electronics, felt completely helpless, without hope.

Worse yet, the problems with his son over the two-year period were driving Dean and his wife apart.

In desperation, Dean called the Care Crisis Line of Snohomish County, an agency supported by the Boeing Employees Good Neighbor Fund. He credits that call with saving his family.

In gratitude, he helps other parents with similar problems by volunteering for the Crisis Line, as well as serving as a booster for BEGNF.

As a booster, Dean is one of approximately 2,000 employees who are available to help steer employees with problems toward appropriate agencies. He wears a booster tag on his lab coat, displays the booster logo at his desk and posts a sign on a nearby bulletin board.

But, more importantly, he says, he attempts to share with others the tough times he weathered with his son.

"I'm very frank with my co-workers because I think it helps people come forward," Dean says.

"I wish back then that I had known someone who was this open about their problems. I probably could have saved myself a lot of emotional misery."

The evening that his son was arrested, Dean was given the phone number of another parent, someone who in the past had endured similar problems with their child. The person told him about a parent support group that would meet an hour later. Dean attended that session and many others.

Now, he's a volunteer referral agent for the Crisis Line, receiving calls at home at all hours of the night from distraught parents.

"Many of these parents just need someone to listen without criticizing them," says Dean. "Unfortunately, many people still believe that bad kids come only from bad parents."

"I try to make the parent feel good about themselves, to give them the feeling that there is a solution to their problems. Referring them to parent support groups and state agencies is often a good beginning."

By attending the support group, Dean said he and his wife "stopped worrying about things we couldn't control" and tried to make plans in advance to deal with crises with their son.

The problems were far from over, but their son's behavior improved somewhat over the years. Dean says he and his wife, as advised by the support group, just tried to enjoy life again, no matter how their son was behaving.

At 19, the boy now holds a responsible job and is scheduled to enter the Army in June. Although the relationship between the parents and their son is still "less than ideal," Dean says he's optimistic about the young man's future.

"My wife and I don't think we would have made it through all of this if we hadn't called the Crisis Line," he says.

"The problems drained us both so much that eventually we had nothing left for each other. I'm glad I now have the opportunity to help others."